Skip to main content

Curse this!

I've decided to write this blog as a response to Danny's blog (dcerublog.blogspot.com). He is apparently very tired of everyone saying how the Cubs lost because they are cursed, or they simply lost because they didn't play well. Well, Mr. Cerullo, the Cubs are cursed. They didn't play well at all. So, for the hell of it, here are ten reasons the Cubs are cursed.

10.) Tuffy Rhodes hit three home runs in his first game in a Cubs uniform. Where is he now? Who knows. He probably didn't three more home runs in his career all because he hit them for the Cubs.

9.) Moises Alou pees on his hands. That's why the Cubs lost in 2003. That's not anyway to get rid of a curse. And the curse knew it.

8.) Okay, we all know about the goat. Why can't a goat go watch a baseball game? The guy bought a ticket for the goat and everything. The Cubs have no soul for letting this man watch the game with his favorite goat.

7.) They try to cheat by letting ivy grow on their outfield wall. Until the ivy is gone, they will never win the World Series.

6.) Mark Prior. That guy was good. Now look at him, toiling away in San Diego.

5.) If Lou Pinella can't lead them to a World Series, no one can.

4.) They held their first night game on 8/8/88. I'm not sure what that means, but I believe it has to be some sort of wicked Chinese curse. Therefore, Cubs are doubly cursed.

3.) These guys can't field during the playoffs. 2003, for example, no one remembers the errors that lead to their demise. Just Steve Bartman. The poor kid just wanted a foul ball and his Cubbies to win. Now, he can't even attend a game.

2.) SNL never did a skit called "Da Cubs". It was always "Da Bears" or "Da Bulls". Maybe Ryne Sandberg should have written a letter to Lorne Michaels.

1.) They lost to the Dodgers. (that's the only one that matters.)

So, once again, the curse will continue for another year. The Dodgers were simply not the better team. Of course, it is a good thing the Dodgers won. Because if the Cubs were to ever win a world series, the world would end. Seriously, complete and total Armageddon. (Of course, if the Dodgers win the world series, it's possible the same thing may occur. I hope you Dodgers fans will die happy.)

Jason

Comments

Hi-dizzle said…
I've been sucked into the world of baseball not quite enough to understand this all, but just enough to know it's funny :).

And yes, I am planning to die happy, thank you for noticing.

Popular posts from this blog

The Bromance of Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard

In the late 1990's and early 2000's, there was no greater bromance than that between Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard. The two of them appeared in no less than five movies together in a five year time span. These two were meant to be. Two young stars destined to take the world by storm as a team. Hanging out, meeting women, and enjoying the good life. And then, just like that, stardom was ripped away from them. Though they continued to work, they would never appear together again in a film.
What was it that pulled them apart? Did they just choose to go different directions? Was it Sarah Michelle Gellar that drove a wedge between these two? While Lillard eventually went on to star in an Oscar nominated film (The Descendants), Prinze, Jr. went on to write for the WWE and occasionally show up as a guest star on television shows. While both have tried, neither has recaptured that joy that once displayed on screen. Tonight, I want to dutifully remind the world of t…

From Negan with Love

YouTube screenshot
*The following contains Spoilers from the season 7 premiere of "The Walking Dead"
"Pissing our pants yet? Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close."- Negan, The Walking Dead

And people thought Ramsay Bolton was sadistic.


The much anticipated season seven premiere of The Walking Dead hit the airwaves last Sunday. Boy, was it a doozy.
I am not going to spend much time on what side of the liked/didn't like it/I'm never watching again spectrum I fall in. I will say that I was enraptured, on the edge of my seat for nearly the entire one hour, six minutes (including commercials) of the episode. This was an episode that filled me with a sense of existential dread for the characters inhabiting The Walking Dead world. It is a feeling that is still with me nearly two days later.
As a disclaimer, I am only through the first ten volumes of the graphic novels. I have yet to reach the Negan arc. I am also on the side of the court that didn't m…

NFL Referees Fail Cam Newton, Fans

If the NFL is serious about the safety of players and finding ways to limit concussions, the referees in last night's Denver Broncos/Carolina Panthers game had a funny way of showing it.
Instead of talking about what a great rematch of the Super Bowl these two teams put on, much of the focus was placed on the amount of hits Cam Newton took to the helmet last night.
And rightfully so.
There were at least three occasions during the course of the game in which Newton was on the receiving end of helmet-to-helmet hits. 
These hits were not of the "blink and you miss it" variety of hits. They were in the course of game action, delivered to Newton after a throw or in the midst of being tackled.
The Broncos were flagged for this infraction once.
Once.
For a league that is looking to protect its players, especially quarterbacks, these calls were not simply "mistakes" or "errors" by the referees. And to right it off as such is simply another loosening thread o…