"This had to stop," I furiously thought to myself. I took it upon myself to change this. Here are five things that I needed to do.
1.) Exercise more.
2.) Stop eating Jack in the Box at three or four in the morning.
3.) Cut back on the beer.
4.) Stop eating Tony's Pizzas all the time.
5.) Fake tanning
With those five things set upon me for the last two weeks, here are the solutions and results that I came up with.
1.) I've been running every other day and working out the other days. While I can now run nearly a mile, there has been very little difference in the stomach region. I can see the forming of abs, but that's about it. (It's a small sample size, I know.)
2.) I now eat Jack in the Box at two in the morning and I've eliminated the cheese sticks.
3.) I've gone to Light beer... Wait, you're saying that's what I drank before? Any chance I can get a lawsuit from this? No... Well, that's ridiculous.
4.) I have cut back on the Pizza. Instead of eating a whole one by itself, I now include a salad. (Don't you judge me!)
5.) Forget about fake tanning. I'm above that. I try tanning the real way. Under the sun. Don't give me that cancer shit, either, because pretty much anything gives us cancer these days. It's a horrible disease, yes, I agree, but I'm not going to pay to get a tan.
So, I'm still white, still not a sex god, and have not yet met a woman down by the green belt. I figured if I was running, it would be a great place to meet women. Maybe I should keep my shirt on. Until we meet again.
*Author's note: No, I do not believe I'm overweight and I am not metro. I just wanted to tone up a little bit and take better care of my body. Is there anything wrong with that?