Social Networking...

After careful consideration, I have decided to launch a new social networking site. It will blend the best of all networking sites into one uber site. The name of my creation: Myfacespace.com (PENDING...)

There is one catch and many rules to this new site. The catch is that once you initially sign up, you can't immediately search out your friends. The customer (that's you) will fill about a brief survey with questions such as: relationship status, favorite movie(s), birthday, hair color, STD's, how many times you've stabbed a man, rating your bitterness, and favorite color. These are just a few, though, so be prepared. The answers to these question will put you in a group of people with similar interests and these will be your "friends". Some of your friends will be in this group, most likely, but others, like if you're friends with Lauren Conrad on myspace, may not. This way, people are forced to make new friends. At least they know going in that they have similar interests (or believed to be) and therefore, more confidence... Here are the rules:

1.) No using of certain angles, or so called "myspace" angles, for your pictures. It's straight on or nothing.

2.) I do not want to be your "pet", so that application will never exist. You cannot buy me. I will, however, accept your muppets.

3.) While we're on the subject, there will be no mafia or pirates applications. If I wanted to play that stuff, I would search it out online.

4.) Status updates are permitted to twice a day. No one needs to know you just ate oreos and you feel frustrated. And then two minutes later telling everyone you're bored. Trying reading or calling someone or exercising.

5.) Feel free to post your racy pics. It will be eighteen and over, or you will simply be put into an under 18 group. Don't try and test me. I have the Illumaniti on my side and access to millions of social security numbers.

6.) Only one person in your group can have a certain song on their page. Five different people don't need to be playing the new song by Rehab. Hell, one person doesn't need to play it. Or T.I. for that matter.

7.) Don't worry, I will not have to be everyone's friend. I, too, will be relegated to a certain group.

8.) Absolutely no fat chicks. (kidding. All girls welcome.)

9.) Hackers will be shot on site.

10.) Have fun.

I hope everyone enjoys this new site. If all goes well, it will be absolutely free, except for the mind numbing hours you waste surfing the site, waiting for just one comment on your new picture or a response to the message you sent to the hot girl that seems kind of into you or constantly checking who's online to secretly spy on them. Next thing you know, your life has been taken over by the internet and you've cannot fathom a day without this website. Addiction happens every day, and with myfacespace, it's life altering. Catch you all on the flip side.

Jason

Comments

Josh said…
"4.) Status updates are permitted to twice a day. No one needs to know you just ate oreos and you feel frustrated. And then two minutes later telling everyone you're bored. Trying reading or calling someone or exercising."

This rule is retarded. I'm gonna let everyone on Facebook know that. After I've told them that I have to poop. And that I'm pooping. And that I flushed the toilet.
Josh said…
Also your site still isn't showing up on my feed. You might check the "Site Feed" tab in Settings... though honestly I don't know why it's not showing.

Popular posts from this blog

The Bromance of Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard

Christmas Letter 2017

The Seinfeld finale: 20 years later