Skip to main content

Mustache Saturday: An Adventure.

Four simple men. All with dreams of mediocrity and quiet aspirations. What happened to them one sunny Saturday will forever live on in the lore of, well, no one really, but that's beside the point. Is this an episode of the Twilight Zone? No, this is just but an episode of what I like to call: Mustache Saturday.

Four simple men. Dr. Strange, Bowser, Sweet Athletic Jesus, and D-Ceru. Super Heroes? No, just an oddball group with even more ridiculous nicknames. It was but a week ago that Dr. Strange decided it would be a good idea if these four men grew mustaches for a week, then go hit the town with said mustaches. Good ideas always stem from a night of hearty drinking, so the four men agreed that in one week, Mustache Saturday would occur.

Many believe this would have never happened if D-Ceru hadn't reminded Dr. Strange of said agreement, but he did, and at first, was an asshole for it. As the mustaches grew in, the group began to get more excited about the day. Except for Bowser, because he knew his mustache was not going to grow as well as the others. In his nervousness, he visited Ben Nye, the makeup guy. If it came down to it, Bowser would make his own mustache.

The big day arrived. Dr. Strange took his mustache to his job, where he proceed to get hit on by every middle aged woman that came in. "Tom Selleck, eat your heart out!" he yelled mightily across the room. Bowser, D-Ceru, and Sweet Athletic Jesus had quite the different day. They decided to do what every red blooded male with a mustache does on a Saturday afternoon. They went to the park. D-Ceru and Sweet Athletic Jesus played a game a catch. They did so with their mustaches in full bloom and without their shirts off. Bowser sat in the shade and played music, just like the hippie he is. The three men did so without the sweetest bit of irony in their minds. As they left the park, they noticed a young boy crying behind the bathroom. It is debated to this day whether the boy just wanted to play baseball with the guys or he was frightened by their mustaches.

The night culminated at the bar (where else of course). The mustaches were the main topic of subject among the men. Their love of music actually led to an album entitled Mustache Love. The concept album is based on the ideas of another man with a great mustache, Weird Al Yankovic. Some of the hits include: Folsom County Mustaches, Mustache Wine, Bohemian Mustache, and Mustache City. In the end, it looks to be like a two disc CD. The ladies, as plentiful as they were, did not seem to appreciate the mustaches. Every smile by the men at the ladies seemed to repulse them even more as the night dragged on. Or maybe it was because Bowser kept asking them if they wanted to take a ride on his mustache. Either way, nothing deterred the men from enjoying their mustaches.

And then, like that, Mustache Saturday was over. The four men went their separate ways, never to speak to each other again. They realized the camaraderie they built that night could never be topped. It had be decided that this was the end of the road. As each disappeared into the night, though, the weariness set in. Alone, the memories flowed in of Mustache Saturday. Each decided they would never again shave their mustache. Dr. Strange became the fireman he had always dreamed of being. Sweet Athletic Jesus went out the next day and bought 20 silk shirts and a plethora of gold chains. His last known where abouts are unknown, but wherever he is, he's got his mustache, his silk shirts, and his living life in style. Bowser is selling used cars. His mustache eventually grew in all the way and can be seen grooming and waxing it for about four hours a day. The last of this group, D-Ceru, had seemingly vanished from the earth. For awhile, it was believed he had shaved the mustache, realizing what a ridiculous idea it had been to have a Mustache Saturday. Those rumors were recently put to rest when a photo surfaced of him in Mustache Monthly. The picture was of D-Ceru at a bar, with a mustache in the vein of Rollie Fingers. D-Ceru was alone, but he was smiling. He was pointing with both of his thumbs at his mustache, as happy as ever. A classic pose for a classic mustache.


Popular posts from this blog

The Bromance of Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard

In the late 1990's and early 2000's, there was no greater bromance than that between Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard. The two of them appeared in no less than five movies together in a five year time span. These two were meant to be. Two young stars destined to take the world by storm as a team. Hanging out, meeting women, and enjoying the good life. And then, just like that, stardom was ripped away from them. Though they continued to work, they would never appear together again in a film.
What was it that pulled them apart? Did they just choose to go different directions? Was it Sarah Michelle Gellar that drove a wedge between these two? While Lillard eventually went on to star in an Oscar nominated film (The Descendants), Prinze, Jr. went on to write for the WWE and occasionally show up as a guest star on television shows. While both have tried, neither has recaptured that joy that once displayed on screen. Tonight, I want to dutifully remind the world of t…

From Negan with Love

YouTube screenshot
*The following contains Spoilers from the season 7 premiere of "The Walking Dead"
"Pissing our pants yet? Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close."- Negan, The Walking Dead

And people thought Ramsay Bolton was sadistic.

The much anticipated season seven premiere of The Walking Dead hit the airwaves last Sunday. Boy, was it a doozy.
I am not going to spend much time on what side of the liked/didn't like it/I'm never watching again spectrum I fall in. I will say that I was enraptured, on the edge of my seat for nearly the entire one hour, six minutes (including commercials) of the episode. This was an episode that filled me with a sense of existential dread for the characters inhabiting The Walking Dead world. It is a feeling that is still with me nearly two days later.
As a disclaimer, I am only through the first ten volumes of the graphic novels. I have yet to reach the Negan arc. I am also on the side of the court that didn't m…

American Sports Franchises Thirsty for a Title

image courtesy of
A billy goat. A dash of bad luck. A sprinkle of a die hard fan. Leon Durham. Add those together and you have the beginnings of the recipe for the curse that has haunted the Chicago Cubs for over 70 years.
In winning the 2016 World Series, the Cubs collected their first World Series title since 1908. Their seven-game victory effectively ended the longest title drought among the four major professional sports leagues in the United States.

Now that the talk of a goat and Bartman can be put to rest, it is now the Cleveland Indians sitting on the longest drought in the Major League baseball. The Indians will be discussed here, as will the other longest droughts in the three other major American sports leagues.
MLB-Cleveland Indians
The Indians moved through the American League this postseason with ease. First, they swept the Boston Red Sox in the ALDS. Then, they took care of the Toronto Blue Jays in five games.
Yes, the Indians lost in the World Series after l…