Mustache Saturday: An Adventure.

Four simple men. All with dreams of mediocrity and quiet aspirations. What happened to them one sunny Saturday will forever live on in the lore of, well, no one really, but that's beside the point. Is this an episode of the Twilight Zone? No, this is just but an episode of what I like to call: Mustache Saturday.

Four simple men. Dr. Strange, Bowser, Sweet Athletic Jesus, and D-Ceru. Super Heroes? No, just an oddball group with even more ridiculous nicknames. It was but a week ago that Dr. Strange decided it would be a good idea if these four men grew mustaches for a week, then go hit the town with said mustaches. Good ideas always stem from a night of hearty drinking, so the four men agreed that in one week, Mustache Saturday would occur.

Many believe this would have never happened if D-Ceru hadn't reminded Dr. Strange of said agreement, but he did, and at first, was an asshole for it. As the mustaches grew in, the group began to get more excited about the day. Except for Bowser, because he knew his mustache was not going to grow as well as the others. In his nervousness, he visited Ben Nye, the makeup guy. If it came down to it, Bowser would make his own mustache.

The big day arrived. Dr. Strange took his mustache to his job, where he proceed to get hit on by every middle aged woman that came in. "Tom Selleck, eat your heart out!" he yelled mightily across the room. Bowser, D-Ceru, and Sweet Athletic Jesus had quite the different day. They decided to do what every red blooded male with a mustache does on a Saturday afternoon. They went to the park. D-Ceru and Sweet Athletic Jesus played a game a catch. They did so with their mustaches in full bloom and without their shirts off. Bowser sat in the shade and played music, just like the hippie he is. The three men did so without the sweetest bit of irony in their minds. As they left the park, they noticed a young boy crying behind the bathroom. It is debated to this day whether the boy just wanted to play baseball with the guys or he was frightened by their mustaches.

The night culminated at the bar (where else of course). The mustaches were the main topic of subject among the men. Their love of music actually led to an album entitled Mustache Love. The concept album is based on the ideas of another man with a great mustache, Weird Al Yankovic. Some of the hits include: Folsom County Mustaches, Mustache Wine, Bohemian Mustache, and Mustache City. In the end, it looks to be like a two disc CD. The ladies, as plentiful as they were, did not seem to appreciate the mustaches. Every smile by the men at the ladies seemed to repulse them even more as the night dragged on. Or maybe it was because Bowser kept asking them if they wanted to take a ride on his mustache. Either way, nothing deterred the men from enjoying their mustaches.

And then, like that, Mustache Saturday was over. The four men went their separate ways, never to speak to each other again. They realized the camaraderie they built that night could never be topped. It had be decided that this was the end of the road. As each disappeared into the night, though, the weariness set in. Alone, the memories flowed in of Mustache Saturday. Each decided they would never again shave their mustache. Dr. Strange became the fireman he had always dreamed of being. Sweet Athletic Jesus went out the next day and bought 20 silk shirts and a plethora of gold chains. His last known where abouts are unknown, but wherever he is, he's got his mustache, his silk shirts, and his living life in style. Bowser is selling used cars. His mustache eventually grew in all the way and can be seen grooming and waxing it for about four hours a day. The last of this group, D-Ceru, had seemingly vanished from the earth. For awhile, it was believed he had shaved the mustache, realizing what a ridiculous idea it had been to have a Mustache Saturday. Those rumors were recently put to rest when a photo surfaced of him in Mustache Monthly. The picture was of D-Ceru at a bar, with a mustache in the vein of Rollie Fingers. D-Ceru was alone, but he was smiling. He was pointing with both of his thumbs at his mustache, as happy as ever. A classic pose for a classic mustache.


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