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Curse this!

I've decided to write this blog as a response to Danny's blog ( He is apparently very tired of everyone saying how the Cubs lost because they are cursed, or they simply lost because they didn't play well. Well, Mr. Cerullo, the Cubs are cursed. They didn't play well at all. So, for the hell of it, here are ten reasons the Cubs are cursed.

10.) Tuffy Rhodes hit three home runs in his first game in a Cubs uniform. Where is he now? Who knows. He probably didn't three more home runs in his career all because he hit them for the Cubs.

9.) Moises Alou pees on his hands. That's why the Cubs lost in 2003. That's not anyway to get rid of a curse. And the curse knew it.

8.) Okay, we all know about the goat. Why can't a goat go watch a baseball game? The guy bought a ticket for the goat and everything. The Cubs have no soul for letting this man watch the game with his favorite goat.

7.) They try to cheat by letting ivy grow on their outfield wall. Until the ivy is gone, they will never win the World Series.

6.) Mark Prior. That guy was good. Now look at him, toiling away in San Diego.

5.) If Lou Pinella can't lead them to a World Series, no one can.

4.) They held their first night game on 8/8/88. I'm not sure what that means, but I believe it has to be some sort of wicked Chinese curse. Therefore, Cubs are doubly cursed.

3.) These guys can't field during the playoffs. 2003, for example, no one remembers the errors that lead to their demise. Just Steve Bartman. The poor kid just wanted a foul ball and his Cubbies to win. Now, he can't even attend a game.

2.) SNL never did a skit called "Da Cubs". It was always "Da Bears" or "Da Bulls". Maybe Ryne Sandberg should have written a letter to Lorne Michaels.

1.) They lost to the Dodgers. (that's the only one that matters.)

So, once again, the curse will continue for another year. The Dodgers were simply not the better team. Of course, it is a good thing the Dodgers won. Because if the Cubs were to ever win a world series, the world would end. Seriously, complete and total Armageddon. (Of course, if the Dodgers win the world series, it's possible the same thing may occur. I hope you Dodgers fans will die happy.)



Hi-dizzle said…
I've been sucked into the world of baseball not quite enough to understand this all, but just enough to know it's funny :).

And yes, I am planning to die happy, thank you for noticing.

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