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Christmas Time is near...

Aah, the Holiday season. A time to celebrate with friends and family. A time of giving and love. A time to become completely inebriated. All in all, 'tis the season to be merry. So, in order to fully appreciate the season, I've decided to open this blog to you, the avid reader. I am presenting 8 questions about the holidays that I desperately need answered. Feel free to leave comments or questions of your own. It's time to collaborate as a group and turn this season on its head. (I do know by doing this I open myself up to any ridicule you may have. Proceed.) And away we go...

1.) Does Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer really want to be associated with Columbus?
1a) And do reindeer really enjoy playing football?

2.) If it is technically summer in Australia, then shouldn't they celebrate Christmas on June 25th, in the middle of winter?

3.) Has there ever been an elf that has sued Santa over labor abuse?
3a) Is there such a thing as an Elvin Union?

4.) When Bing Crosby is singing about a White Christmas, is he singing about cocaine?

5.) In a Christmas Story, Ralphie is repeatedly told he'll shoot his eye out if he gets a Red Ryder BB gun. Lo and behold, he gets the gun and shoots his eye out. The question I pose to you is this: Is there really a point to this timeless classic of a movie?

6.) Why haven't the McAllisters been arrested for child abandonment yet?

7.) If Santa is so magical, why hasn't he magically placed a girl under my tree on Christmas morning?

8.) What exactly is a yule log?

There it is. Answer as many as you'd like. Or answer none. There are days I just need to write something, and today is one of those days. I look forward to our future correspondence.

J-Money

Comments

Danny Cerullo said…
2.) I saw a report on the interweb that Jesus was actually born in June, so those Aussies would be correct to celebrate Christmas in June. On the other hand, it makes Jesus sad to think of criminal descendants celebrating his birth, so maybe they should just skip it altogether.

4.) Clearly, yes.
Jen_Smitty said…
1.) Does Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer really want to be associated with Columbus?
No...who would?

1a) And do reindeer really enjoy playing football?
Of course they do!!!

2.) If it is technically summer in Australia, then shouldn't they celebrate Christmas on June 25th, in the middle of winter?
Yes they should....so I can move there and not have my birthday 3 days before Christmas...

3.) Has there ever been an elf that has sued Santa over labor abuse?
There will be shortly...as Santa is recruiting children from 3rd world countries to cut down overhead...a man's got make some money...

3a) Is there such a thing as an Elvin Union?
The things that make you go hmmmmmmm.....

4.) When Bing Crosby is singing about a White Christmas, is he singing about cocaine?
I thought that's what White Christmas was always about??

5.) In a Christmas Story, Ralphie is repeatedly told he'll shoot his eye out if he gets a Red Ryder BB gun. Lo and behold, he gets the gun and shoots his eye out. The question I pose to you is this: Is there really a point to this timeless classic of a movie?
Teaching spoiled uneducated immoral people like me that greed get's you an AWESOME GIFT!!

6.) Why haven't the McAllisters been arrested for child abandonment yet?
Duh!!! Macaulay Culkin was legally emanciapated!!!

7.) If Santa is so magical, why hasn't he magically placed a girl under my tree on Christmas morning?
Cause he hasn't magical placed Josh Duhmal under mine....

8.) What exactly is a yule log?
Well if you google it wikipedia says it's a "Great Ashen Faggot".....but I would think it's just a log!!!

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