We interrupt this program...
Rudolph: Dec. 3rd, CBS (8pm EST)
A classic story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and his journey to fame. ****
A Very Brady Christmas: Dec. 9th ABC Family (4pm EST)
The Brady's re-unite in this Christmas Story for the ages. **
Lost: A Christmas Special: Dec. 10th ABC (9pm EST)
Join John Locke as he returns to America three years in the future, just in time to spend Christmas with the people around him who he thought were dead. And to explain to us the Christmas miracle of why millions of people wasted six years of their life following the show. *
Christmas in the Hills: Dec. 14th MTV (Check Local Listings)
Spencer and Heidi tell stories of Christmas' past. Lauren laments on the fact because of the economy she can only spend two weeks in Cabo instead of the usual three. Good looking, shallow people complain about the holidays and their problems in life. **
Wine and Coke: A Lindsay Lohan Christmas: Dec. 18th VHI (11pm EST)
Lindsay Lohan allows some of her top fans to read her Christmas blogs. Various topics will include items about Obama's Christmas, why she hates Facebook, and why she became a lesbian. Lohan scheduled to appear wearing her Christmas outfit from Mean Girls. ***
CSI: North Pole: Dec. 19th CBS (9pm EST)
After a stable of reindeer is found littered with elf carcasses, the CSI crew must find the killer before Christmas Eve and then help get the toys out on time. Guest starring George Wendt as Santa and Heather Graham as a naughty North Pole stripper. Directed by Quentin Tarantino. ***
American Idol: Home for the Holidays: Dec. 22nd FOX (8pm EST)
Paula Abdul sits by a fireplace and enjoys a bottle of wine. And then another. And then three more. Special Appearances by Randy Jackson, Clay Aiken, Jim Dunkleman, and the dancing cat. *
Santa Clause 4: The who gives a fuck clause: Dec. 23rd TNT (5pm EST)
Tim Allen returns yet again as Santa Claus in this yawner of a remake of It's a Wonderful Life. This time around, Santa thinks he has become un-important in life and is taken on a journey by Co-Star Richard Karn. And by journey, we mean two hours of Family Feud.
Christmas Eve with Sarah Palin: Dec. 24th CBS (11pm EST)
Listen as the former vice-president-in-waiting regales us with stories about hunting, beauty pageants, and shopping. Time allotting, she will inform us how a women from Alaska speaks like a person from Minnesota. **
Christmas Day: A Jim Belushi Spectacular: Dec. 25th ABC (Noon EST)
Live from Disney World, Jim Belushi hosts the Disney World parade, then in true Jimbo fashion bores us to death with his bland comedy. We get it, he loves the Cubs, and all he wants for Christmas is a Cubs World Series. Other events include Belushi on Ice and Belushi sleds down the Thunder Mountain wearing a Santa Suit. *****
From the looks of it, this is going to be one very exciting Christmas.