Another Late Night Tangent...

I lay in bed. Not able to sleep. The sound of traffic rushes by through the brown slush that litters the ground. It's heavy for this time of night but it's not the noise that keeps me awake. It's literally my dumpster of my mind that is cluttered with information that keeps me from sleep this night. Let me begin...

It starts with thoughts of a girl I've been hanging out with. (Not those thoughts, cretins.) Those thoughts some how lead to the song "Patience" by Guns 'N' Roses. That's probably because it's playing on the Ipod so my mind drifts some more. This time I stay more on subject, because the joke leads me to the joke a comedian named Earl used to tell while I was down in LA. Basically, the punchline was that the first time he had sex was to this song. And he was done by time Axl began to whistle. (Hilarious, I know. I chuckle to myself in bed.) Despite my utter, utter love of this joke, I found I did not love L.A. Nor did I hate it. I simply hated the debt. A debt of which I'm still facing to this day. So my mind races to debt and what I can do about it. Nothing. Back to square one.

Square One was a great show on PBS. (You can begin to see how my mind was working. Sometimes, it's easier than counting sheep. I try it at work and I can ignore customers for hours this way). Thinking of all that it taught me about math and introducing me to Reg E. Cathy. Then the math brings me back to debt, and I simply push that notion aside while my cat paws at my face. I push her to the ground and momentarily think about setting her on my ex-girlfriends step, wrapped in a big bow. "I couldn't do that. No fate is that cruel," I sez to myself. That's right: sez! There's a moment of silence as I segue to the next thought. Which for some reason is the Boston Red Sox and how they better re-sign Jason Varitek. I think that the Red Sox need a good quality catcher; that is until Russell Martin comes over from the Dodgers in some miracle trade that will no likely piss Danny off.

Danny wrote a blog tonight. I better write one soon or I will be laughed off the Internet. I will log on one day and my account will not be there. The note on the Internet will simply say "the No Jasons Club." And of course, Jason Patric will already have a blog, so I would be one Jason too many. Aah, the Simpsons.

The Simpsons take me back to a simpler time. One where I could laugh and have fun without the joys of alcohol. (There goes my mind tangent again. Alcohol not present, suddenly I've connected the dots through haphazard thoughts again. Go figure.) Does anyone remember those times? Before alcohol, when fun could be had sane and sober. It had to happen at one point. Maybe alcohol has become a crutch. I used to have a beer to have fun. Now, I have one because I'm bored. And everything seems funner that way. That can't be the way of life, can it. I mean, my friends and I used to have fun sans booze, right. I mean, we went to those plays in college. (Wait, booze.) Okay, we saw Episode II of Star Wars (illicit drugs). I mean, there had to be one time we did something fun without the aid of booze.

I rack my brain. Not to intensely, but I come to the realization that it doesn't matter. I haven't been nearly as drunk as them. I simply revel in their good times and their tomfoolery. Okay, not really. I have been nearly as drunk as them on most occasions. The fact is, the good times and memories are always there, no matter booze aided or clean and sober. It's the memories that matter, man. The good times. I don't know, but at that exact moment, I become sentimental and realize that things are fine. That, despite being thirty and bed ridden the last two days with a mysterious illness, my life is not flashing before my eyes. I am simply remembering that life is long, and that maybe it's time to get started on having one.

Then Sleep. Where I dream of a bicycle, a maze, Christmas time, and a girl? Can someone get me a dream dictionary please?


I feel like such a stalker since I began facebook. I keep reading what my friends are doing and it brought me here! I didn't know you had a blog, and hope you don't mind if I comment. I didn't know you were a writer! Very mysterious Jason.
Hi-dizzle said…
bicycle: spiritually, the balance or duality of two aspects of belief. Psychologically, you may be looking for freedom without responsibility, or need to find balanced judgement with which to move forward on some project.
Bicycles in men's dreams often are linked to childhood memories.

maze: linked with the feminine, and can signify an initiation into divine knowledge. Also often represents a confusion of ideas and feelings. The experience of the irrational fear and doubt that arises from not being able to find the way out is useful in releasing feelings of self-doubt and fear.

girl: you may be attempting to contact the more innocent, sensitive side of yourself. If you know the girl, some of her qualities may be useful in the challenge you're facing. If not, it may be a suggestion to head toward a fresh approach.

christmas: Holidays in general in dreams often mean one of two things: (1) Holy-days, or a demarcation of something particularly meaningful or sacred. or (2), a desire to take more time and care for yourself, to take a holiday.

source: 10,000 dreams explained, by Pamela Ball

Good luck! :)

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