I am a man. A man exploring the infinite possibilities of today's burning questions and topics... Or I'm a playwright and novelist who likes to write about random subjects or popular topics. Plus, it helps me at least write once in awhile, especially when writer's block sets in.
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Date: February 27, 2010
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That's right, folks, it's the sensation that's sweeping the nation. It's the sport to end all sports. If you haven't guessed by the name of this blog, I'm talking about curling. And I'm looking to put together a super team that will take out those pesky Canadians. I am not looking for a team that will simply be "glad to be there". I want a team that is all business and goes for the kill, much like Shani Davis in speed skating. Curling is a very serious sport and I will need your utmost attention to training. The training will be 12 months a year, so if you can't be committed to Team USA, don't bother showing up. Curling is life.
To begin with, let me start out with what I do have for my team. I have already purchased some cool looking pants that we will all wear. Norway has already created their pants in honor of John Daly, the world famous golfer. I, in turn, have decided to one up way Norway. Sure, they might have a better team, but will their pants be designed in honor of the late, great Payne Stewart? I don't think so.
I have the ice brooms. Now I just need people that are good at sweeping ice. I'm not talking about people that can sweep a floor or sweep out the garage. While these are certainly good starting points, the ice can be a dangerous place, especially when you are sweeping it.
I need someone with a boisterous voice to yell out things like "Off!", "Left" "Harder", and "in the crotch!". Though it may sound like it, curling is not erotic. Unless, that is, you are in love with the excitement of two people running gingerly on ice while trying to sweep the ice in order for a rock to hit the center mark. If that's the case, then this truly is the sport for you.
I will need someone to withstand those raucous Canadian fans. They drove a Denmark Olympian to tears with their stomping and yelling. I cannot have an Olympian break down like that, unless it is on the podium for the medal ceremony. And that's only if we win gold. If you cry over the bronze, I'll give you something to cry about. There's no crying in Curling. And no crying in Baseball.
I have a them song for our entrance music. It's "We Will Rock You" by Queen. I don't even care if there is no entrance music for Curling in the Olympics. We will do it because we're the U.S.A. dammit and we have national pride. And that pride is for Curling.
Veronica has provided our team motto: "If Curling is wrong, I don't want to be right." I'll get some tee shirts made up.
Aaron has provided our team chant. It's "Get your rocks off".
Finally, I need one last thing for these open tryouts. I need someone to explain to me how Curling works. That would help immensely in our team's training.
And John Schuster, you blew it! Now we're going to lose to the Chinese. Thank you very much.
In the late 1990's and early 2000's, there was no greater bromance than that between Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard. The two of them appeared in no less than five movies together in a five year time span. These two were meant to be. Two young stars destined to take the world by storm as a team. Hanging out, meeting women, and enjoying the good life. And then, just like that, stardom was ripped away from them. Though they continued to work, they would never appear together again in a film.
What was it that pulled them apart? Did they just choose to go different directions? Was it Sarah Michelle Gellar that drove a wedge between these two? While Lillard eventually went on to star in an Oscar nominated film (The Descendants), Prinze, Jr. went on to write for the WWE and occasionally show up as a guest star on television shows. While both have tried, neither has recaptured that joy that once displayed on screen. Tonight, I want to dutifully remind the world of t…
Nevada Day is fast approaching. Have you picked out your costume yet? Autumn is here. Leaves are doing their annual impressions of a chameleon, before dropping from the trees and collecting in piles on the ground. This is one of the many signals we are creeping ever closer to an important fall holiday: Nevada Day.
Nevada entered into an union with the United States on October 31, 1864. Since then, the day is marked nationwide by a celebration of candy, costumes, and general shenanigans and debauchery.
Each year, on October 31, millions of Americans--kids and adults alike--throw on a costume to celebrate this amazing day. Children even go door-to-door in their costumes, soliciting chocolate and licorice to honor the state of Nevada.
Adults have re-inserted themselves into the fun over the past ten years. Many have decided to partake in the celebration of Nevada by dressing the skimpiest costume they can find. These costumes are aptly titled "Sexy Pirate", "Sexy Cop"…
Years ago, in this galaxy and not too far away, the release of a new Star Wars movie was usually reserved for the month of May. Outside of the ill-fitted, little-seen Star Wars holiday special, the past three years have changed that.
New movies from the Star Wars galaxy have now turned into a Christmas-time affair, with The Last Jedi being the most recent of these films.
I grew up with the Star Wars universe and accompanying toys. Hours were spent playing with the toys, whether in my room or my grandpa's backyard. From Luke Skywalker to Jawas, these figures spent a fair amount of time buried in dirt and thrown into the grass. Many a weapon was lost this way, maybe even a head or two, and I like to believe a lost figure is buried in a yard in Bishop, California.
I still own a fair amount of toys from the original trilogy. Sure, the figures have no weapons or helmets and parts are missing on the Millennium Falcon, but I'm proud to say I still own them.
Over the years, I have p…