Showing posts from October, 2008

Sex and Violence

"Hi kids, do you like violence. Wanna see me stick nine inch through each one of my eyelids." (That's old Marshall Mathers aka Eminem aka Slim Shady, for those of you that don't know) Well, apparently in at least two movie theaters in Utah, the kids do like their violence. It was announced by movie theater owner Larry Miller and his representatives that they will not be showing Zach and Miri Make a Porno, the upcoming new release by filmmaker Kevin Smith. They have deemed this movie to graphic and too close to an NC-17 rating to show in their peaceful little town. Meanwhile, at the same theaters, kids indulged themselves in showings of Saw V this past weekend. Let's see, two people making films about sex to pay rent or a person forced to either be blown up by a bomb or dig a key from behind their eyeball to save their life (okay, that's Saw II but you get the point). Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

While the pendulum on this issue seems to sway back and…

Creative Thoughts

I'm flying high. And it's never going to happen again because the end of existence draws nearer with each breathtakingly painless day. Where does it all go? Red bunnies jump forth into dark semi-circles of madness. Their jumping is worthless because those stupid little green leprechauns who travel around with gold coins rule the world. The rich get richer.

Time slips away, her breath moving farther away. Regret. There is no regret. Life is full. Regret nothing. There is no time for regret. Regret nothing. Fear everything. Save your mortal soul.

The bond is gone, carried to a shallow grave dug by one-armed midgets with no knowledge of how the world really works. Who really does, though? Certainly not me. She is gone, without a trace, buried into the night air. Not the one that took your innocence, but the one that was there to restore it. The road taken was the one more traveled upon. Experience does matter. So do brains. An intellectual conversation is a mu…

Taking the Devil out of Tampa

Congratulations, Tampa Bay Rays. You have played a great series against the Boston Red Sox and now will be traveling to the World Series. While I have been a lifelong Red Sox fan and am thoroughly disappointed their season ended, I will tip my hat to the Rays. They are a young, talented team that I have not learned to completely hate (except for Willy Aybar) and I wish them best of luck in the World Series.

As for you, city of Tampa Bay, you do not get off that easy. For ten long years you have suffered...give me a break! Suffering is not ten years of occasionally taking your family to the game in the summer to watch the Rays only because they are playing only the Red Sox or the Yankees. Suffering is watching Bill Buckner and Aaron Boone ruin your childhood dreams crumble before you. Suffering is waiting twenty years and counting for a World Series, like Dodgers fans. (Of course, I mean the ones that don't go to the game for just the third through seventh innings. That is …

A message to America...

I'm going to apologize right off the bat. I am not going to be speaking about Spencer from The Hills like I had promised. I decided that even I don't want to waste any more time or braincells talking about him or even mentioning his name. That is that, so get off my back.

First off, America, maybe you missed my earlier blog about using your minds because you're at it again. Maybe it happens with every presidential election, I don't know, but things are getting out of hand. I read today that recent pollsters have found out that Sarah Palin is actually causing her and John McCain to lose ground in the presidential race. Contrary to popular belief it is not because of her general lack of experience. No, no. According to three men with clipboards and mechanical pencils, it is simply because Tiny Fey is mocking her on Saturday Night Live.

Now, I know very well that pop culture has an overwhelming effect on America. Why else do women buy little dogs that fit in their …

Just a little life update

Dear valued readers,
As Columbus Day approaches, it is time for my annual Columbus Day letter. I am living in Boise, ID going on my second year now. I have a beautiful apartment that overlooks the Homeless Shelter in beautiful downtown Boise and is only minutes away from the Fire Department. The location is great, and allows me to walk home from the bar if I ever desired. It's a little cramped in here with all of my boxes of stuff. I have a bike in my kitchen, no couch, and a twin sized bed that barely fits me. Things are going really well.

I continue to be employed with US Bank. It is one of the top five banks in the nation, so I am not worried about my job. Though if people keep taking their money out of the bank, the dollar is really going to drop. So stop it... I've been employed there for over a year and a half, so the stability is nice.

The Red Sox are inching closer to the World Series. I am hoping for a Red Sox/Dodgers World Series, well, because that would be i…

Curse this!

I've decided to write this blog as a response to Danny's blog ( He is apparently very tired of everyone saying how the Cubs lost because they are cursed, or they simply lost because they didn't play well. Well, Mr. Cerullo, the Cubs are cursed. They didn't play well at all. So, for the hell of it, here are ten reasons the Cubs are cursed.

10.) Tuffy Rhodes hit three home runs in his first game in a Cubs uniform. Where is he now? Who knows. He probably didn't three more home runs in his career all because he hit them for the Cubs.

9.) Moises Alou pees on his hands. That's why the Cubs lost in 2003. That's not anyway to get rid of a curse. And the curse knew it.

8.) Okay, we all know about the goat. Why can't a goat go watch a baseball game? The guy bought a ticket for the goat and everything. The Cubs have no soul for letting this man watch the game with his favorite goat.

7.) They try to cheat by letting ivy grow on…